For months now I've wondered, "What is the purpose of all this pain I'm going through?".... I didn't understand the purpose of God bringing my ex into my life just to take him away and leave me heartbroken. I didn't understand why I let myself do such stupid things for me to later regret. I didn't understand why I felt so alone. I didn't understand how I got so far off track. Everyone said, "God has a purpose and plan for everything." I found that really hard to believe.
Today while I was reading through some scripture, I came across these verses. It all of the sudden clicked. God DID have a purpose for all of this. If it wasn't for everything happening the way it did, I would still be dependent on a boy, I would still be in a half-hearted relationship with God, I would still be caught up in a cycle of destruction. God knew that it would take my world getting thrown upside down in order for me to make a real heart and life change. If everything in my life was going good, I would have little reason to depend on God. Now, through all of this heartache, I've had no choice but to depend on Him. I tried doing it my way at first. I ran from Him and tried coping with worldly things. That only led me further into depression and eventually to the point where I recognized that I can't do it on my own. As hard as the last few months have been, I wouldn't change a thing.
Thank you Jesus for giving me a wake up call and helping me turn my life around.
"Now I'm glad - not that you were upset, but that you were jarred into turning things around. You let distress bring you to God, not drive you from him. The result was all gain, no loss. Distress that drives us to God does that. It turns us around. It gets us back in the way of salvation. We never regret that kind of pain. But those who let distress drive them away from God are full of regrets, end up on a deathbed of regrets. And now, isn't it wonderful all the ways in which this distress has pushed you closer to God? You're more alive, more concerned, more sensitive, more reverent, more human, more passionate, more responsible. Looked at from any angle, you've come out of this with purity of heart."
2 Corinthians 7:9-12
I'm so proud of you girl. Your struggles are only making you stronger. At times it's so hard for us to see this. God is refining you and it's so awesome to see your growth. Love you girl.
ReplyDeleteSo true Caroline. I went through the same thing this semester where a guy came into my life and quickly ruined the relationship we were building. I was left heartbroken and even slightly depressed because I thought it was me. While I was crying my tears I realized that I had become so far from God just because this boy walked into my life. After understanding that I could not get through the pain without Him is when I quickly turned my eyes back on Him. Be strong like I know you are and one day it's gonna happen for us and it's gonna be EXACTLY how God intended for it to be and it is going to be amazing!
ReplyDeleteLove ya girl,
Joelle